To B or not to B

If you’re choosing where to live, what factors are important? Climate, safety, the environment, the culture. All that. By the standardised classification of what are considered nice places, not too big, not too small, where the quality of life is high, Vancouver, Melbourne and Copenhagen are the sort of places that float to the top. For big-city lovers, there’s nothing like Paris, though New York and London are baying at its heels. And then there are the classic cities of Rome, Edinburgh and Salzburg.

But out of this list, only one is a B city. As is Kinshasa. Surprised? The B stands for baguette.

This is certainly a pretty important criterion in my book. Good baguettes are hard to beat, and to live in a place where there are baked and sold freshly is really special. If coffee is really important to you, you can make your own, and most sorts of food can be reproduced quite well wherever you live. But there’s something different about the true baguette. There is no substitute.

In Kinshasa, everywhere you go there are women with baskets of baguettes on their head. They’ll sell you one, of course, but they’ll also make you a peanut butter sandwich. This is the working man’s lunch: sitting quietly at the side of the road, made on the spot, to your specification.

When we were staying in the hotel I used to make my own baguette sandwich. Being a proper continental hotel, the breakfast buffet included salamis, hams and cheeses. So what better than to make a baguette sandwich or two for lunch, and smuggle it out? Not that they really minded.

It would sit on my desk tempting me, and by 11.30 I would succumb. There’s something so special about the crunchy crust and the soft insides. Very special.

But there’s more. B countries also retain the trappings of civilisation, without the tiniest drop of irony. For example, when you first meet someone, the proper response is “enchanté” (pedants will note that if you’re a girl there’s an extra e on the end). When you sign letters you ask that the recipient will do you the honour of accepting your profoundly good wishes, or something of the sort. And before you start eating, of course, there is “Bon appétit.”